Johnny straightened and dyed his hair jet black. Now it hangs down over one eye. Johnny wears his girlfriend's jeans and writes bad poetry. His go-to topics are vampires, death, and slit wrists. Johnny wears T-shirts that look painted-on and his black-rimmed glasses reveal his ever-shoegazing eyes. Johnny feels life is pain, love is fleeting, and all hope is lost.

Well Johnny, this ain't for you.

Street Smart Cyclist is emo devoid of runaway drama, overly sensitive crybaby antics, and broken-hearted gloom and self-pity. So Johnny, put the razor blade down. Luckily for us, your years of wearing unbelievably tight jeans will leave you sterile and unable to pass along your genes.

The feel of the Street Smart Cyclist EP brings you back to the good days-of-yore emo like Sunny Day Real Estate and Texas Is the Reason, and post-millenial acts like Latterman and the late Renee Heartfelt. Upbeat, optimistic, lightning quick rhythms guided by an always melodic three-guitar assault that's ridiculously nimble and always cohesive. John Galm's strained, quasi-raspy/throaty vocals lend the perfect urgency to the equation. The product is a nearly tangible sense of honesty and heartfelt passion with a sense of immediacy that many bands try to manufacture, but rarely succeed to convey.

Melo-delicious and smart, disc starter "Hoods Up" is the spur to the side of wild horse that triggers the frenzied pace kept throughout the track and EP. With Small Brown Bike- and Latterman-like communal vocals and hand claps aplenty, the track is smile-inducing and slam-dance friendly. Energetic, catchy, and quick. Following close on the heels of "Hoods Up", "Pastor of Muppets" keeps the up-tempo pace with a sturdy guitar line that darts and jumps about the track, keeping the listener's ears always a step behind, and trying to keep up. Like its cohorts, disc closer "The Three Lane Cut" keeps things running fast till its waning minutes when finally, the tempo slows and is carried out by a repeated communal chorus.

What's really captivating is the unmistakable sort of tamed spastic elasticity that keeps the instrumentation from shooting off in every direction amidst guitars and rhythmatics that seem nearly uncontrollable. Despite the pace and abrupt stop-starts, nothing seems out of place. Everything is sonically taut, and cleanly presented.

While only a brief insight into the ingenuity of these six Bethlehem, Penn. youths with its three tracks in nine minutes, the Street Smart Cyclist is a great teaser for things to come. No pretentiousness, no self-indulgent noodling, no look-at-me posturing. Just straightforward emo rock that's inventive, clever, and worthwhile.

Leave Johnny with his woeful poetic rantings. We have better things to listen to.